What happened to endorphin wrestling
You’re wrestling with depression or anxiety.įeeling depressed or anxious can certainly put a damper on our sexual response. Being physically and sexually active is the most potent way to maximize our ongoing sexual potential by bringing increased blood flow to our genitals and strengthening the pelvic floor. The solution: If you use it, you’re less likely to lose it. As we age, the production of our sex hormones tends to slow down, making arousal and orgasm potentially more challenging> Another factor can be a loss of tone in the pelvic floor muscles. There’s a physical cause.Īge can also play a role women 49 years and older are more likely than younger women to experience orgasmic dysfunction. After a few sessions of unpacking this old learning, she was able to discover her orgasm after making good friends with a vibrator. After some work, that client was able to permit herself to release into orgasm after recognizing how her bathtub shaming experience kept her from exploring pleasure.
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The solution: If you have been shamed about sex or have traumas big or small, talk to a sex therapist. Put that together with a Catholic school education, and what you got was a big, fat orgasm blockage. While taking a bath, her mom walked in and saw her touching her genitals when the soap slipped between her legs and yelled in an uncharacteristically harsh way. For example, a client of mine struggled with the ability to orgasm for years that stemmed from something that happened when she was a kid.
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The trauma needn’t be extreme to imprint us with a blockage to letting go into the release of orgasmic delights. You shouldn’t enjoy sex too much or have too many partners, because that makes you a slut. Our culture bombards us with conflicting and creepy messages about our sexuality: You should have a perfect body. You’ve experienced sexual trauma or shame. Helpful hint: Use a vibrator (and don’t worry about diminishing your sensitivity-that’s a myth). Kegel practice can be the single most powerful tool in ramping up the orgasm machinery. And while you are doing that, Kegel, Kegel, Kegel.
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The solution: If anorgasmia is persistent, masturbate. So it isn’t surprising that discovering our orgasm capacity may not be automatic for women. This may be in part due to biology-an erect penis is hard to ignore-in combination with a culture that more readily accepts male masturbation as the norm.
#WHAT HAPPENED TO ENDORPHIN WRESTLING HOW TO#
Males appear to have an easier time discovering how to masturbate to orgasm than females. I’ve studied the sensory pathways from the genitals to the brain’s pleasure machinery-connecting and strengthening them is what makes orgasms possible and easier to access. Orgasm isn’t just the result of a glass of nice wine, a little Marvin Gaye, and some fairy dust it’s a learned skill. In my clinical work, I’ve found that for women who’ve never ever had an orgasm, the most common cause is simply insufficient practice masturbating. So what can you do about it? Let’s dig into the common reasons women can’t orgasm and how to address them.